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A Weird Sort of Epiphany

I proofread for a translation firm, but I recently parted ways with my job because of the time commitment that I’m now pouring into developing the online thing. It’s not like I’m able to quit my job, like I can fully support myself, but I’m taking the risk. I can either put more energy into [My Drunk Kitchen] and start developing more frequently or I can continue to develop and maintain a day job. It’s the moment where you decide to take the risk. That’s this exact moment of my life. So I should probably just have no caffeine and meditate all the time. [downs coffee] I meditate with my mouth moving a lot.

That’s a quote from Hannah Hart, creator of the web series My Drunk Kitchen. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out on YouTube. Goofy, drunken humor (so if you aren’t in to that kind of thing, you might not be impressed), but I’ve been doing a bit if reading about Hart herself, and she’s impressive. (How many creators of web series get an interview with Time Magazine?) Funny, smart girl making a name for herself on the inexplicably still male-dominated Internet. Nice.

I started a new job today. Nothing glamorous or writing-related; it’s another warehouse gig. Don’t get me wrong: it’s a fine job, and I’m grateful to have it. It will pay my bills a hell of a lot better than my last job. But I was watching a training video on customer service today, and I had a clear and sudden thought: This is not what I want for my life. I don’t want to be a peon anymore.

Ok, let me be clear here. I already knew that; that’s why I went to college. But I think I’ve been viewing the no-longer-a-peon state as some hazy, far-off goal to be attained…someday. When the perfect job rolls around. You know. Someday. After I’ve paid my dues. Blah di blah freaking blah.

I said in an earlier blog that writing is important to me because I love it, and that the pay needs to come so I can devote time to writing rather than other things that pay. What I realized today is that that line of thought is bass-ackwards.

Now I’m not quitting my job or anything. (I’m no Hannah Hart–not nearly that courageous.) But I know now that I’m going to have to devote myself to writing, to really take it seriously–reallytake it seriously–if I want it to pay off in any satisfying manner, be that manner intellectual, emotional, monetary, whatever.

I’ve got some stuff in the works. A new story, notably. It’s my first real inspiration in a while.

This is going to be fun.

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